


First Kisses

by spacespork



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Best Friends, Boys Kissing, Canon Universe, Could be either, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sexuality Crisis, Sleepovers, Spin the Bottle, Underage Drinking, baz is only mentioned, more of a 3+1 and an epilogue but, rated teen for mentions of alcohol and swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-05-16 08:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14807966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacespork/pseuds/spacespork
Summary: So here I am: sitting on my best friend's bed, now drunk and without a filter, idly spilling thoughts I would never otherwise say out loud, as we mindlessly play on his xbox and giggle about how shite our reflexes are at the moment.Summary: All of Dev and Niall's first kisses





	1. Chapter 1

I am fourteen when I have my first kiss.

It's mid July, and Dev and I are in his room. We’re seated on his bed, stuffing ourselves with junk food and taking swigs from the bottle Dev snatched from his father's liquor cabinet about hour earlier, as we play various games on the console to keep us occupied. 

There is a warm summer breeze drifting through the open window, and I can hear the soft buzz of crickets chirping outside. There's a small radio in the corner of his room playing at low volume. It's maybe one AM by now.

Dev's parents are out for the night at some event and gave him permission to have friends over. While Baz wasn't able to make it (some family thing), I was happy to come over as to not have to deal with my siblings for the evening.

So here I am: sitting on my best friend's bed, now drunk and without a filter, idly spilling thoughts I would never otherwise say out loud, as we mindlessly play on his xbox and giggle about how shite our reflexes are at the moment.

"I've never kissed anybody before," I slur. 

"Hmm," Dev hums in agreement. He continues to stare ahead at the television screen, but his movements are delayed and he misses an attack.

"It's not fair," I say and fall backwards. The controller is still in my hand but the game is being momentarily forgotten. Dev, too, tears his attention away from the screen to look back at me, and both our characters are frozen on the screen. "Baz has all these girls fawning over him but he doesn't even care."

Dev hums again (however this time it's like he's making a reservation to speak), and he lifts the bottle in his lap to his lips and takes a small sip. "It's SO unfair! There are girls who aren't even in our year who are mooning over him!" His voice is just a bit too loud for how close we're sitting, and I wince. He flops down next to me. "If I were him, I would've kissed so many girls by now."

I pause, staring up at the missing splotches of paint on Dev's ceiling. 

"How do we know if we even like girls though?" Here's the thing: if I were sober, there is no way I would've said this. Except I'm not, and the words are already out of my mouth. 

"What do you mean?" The second half of his sentence is cut off by a yawn.

"Well how do we know we like girls if we've never kissed one before? How do we know we don't just think we do because that's what society tells us to want?" I rant. "How do we know we don't like boys instead if we've never kissed one before?" I sit up on his bed and push my pale blond hair out of my eyes before turning back to look at him.

Dev is still laying on his back, looking out at me from beneath his dark eyelashes with an amused, yet fond, smirk on his face. "It's too late for your socialistic, psychology bullshit questions," he sighs and sits up, facing me. His gaze meets my eyes. Our knees are touching. "How about this: you can kiss me and then you can figure out whether you like boys or not. Okay?"

Then we're both leaning forward and our faces are pressed together in a warm, soft mush of mouths. My face feels hot. He tastes like alcohol and Doritos. Our lips are flush for maybe five seconds before we both pull away. The first breath I take feels cold in my mouth.

My head is buzzing. I don't think it's from the alcohol.

"Better?" He asks, smiling at me.

I nod and try to give a faint smile back. I don't tell him that I feel even more confused now than I did before.

"Good. Okay, wow. Now that that's settled, let's go to bed. I'm tired as fuck." Dev laughs, getting up to find the cap to the liquor bottle that's still in his hand.

"Alright," I mumble. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

"M'kay,"

I get up and stumble down the hall and into the small, tiled room. I lean over the sink and splash my face with cold water. When I finish drying my face, I look up at myself in the mirror and sigh.

If I take longer in the bathroom than necessary, Dev doesn't mention it. He just turns off the lights and crawls into his large bed with me and we fall asleep.

I'm thankful that nothing (other than my raging headache) is different when I wake up in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dev and Niall's second first-kiss!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I ended up deciding to make this a multi-chapter fic!  
> It's going to have five chapters in total and I'm really excited!  
> here's chapter 2! enjoy!!
> 
> Thanks to pixiecodesnowbaz on tumblr for betaing!

When I'm seventeen, I have my first boyfriend.

I'm sitting at a small party in a circle with a bunch of people, nursing a bottle of some type of alcohol. He gives me a smile from across the circle.

I have had girlfriends before but never a boyfriend. His name is Henry. He's sweet and brunette and always tastes like mint, but also, he's the only other queer person I know.

Looking around the circle, I notice Dev gazing vaguely at the empty bottle in the center of the circle. He then takes a sip from his own bottle in his hands and glances around him, I assume, searching for someone to share his sense of humor with. Normally, Baz or myself would fill that role, but the former is nowhere to be found and whoever organized this game made us all shuffle so the kissing would be more random. (Which doesn't even make sense: that's what the bottle is for, dingus.) (I could be making that joke to Dev right now if it weren't for this stupid seating arrangement!)

Some girl offers to go first and scoots to the center of the circle. 

I look back to Dev, hoping to catch his gaze, when I notice that his eyes are already stuck on a girl two seats away from me with long blond flowy hair and porcelain skin. I've seen her at the club before and I don't find her that impressive, but Dev has had a massive crush in her for the last two years. (Despite the fact the he's barely had a conversation with her.)

I pull my attention away from her and back to the game. 

The first girl's turn has come and gone and the boy she kissed is now kissing a short-haired brunette. As the game continues, I allow myself to space out a little bit and listen to the soft pop songs coming from the radio in the corner of the room until the bottle lands on someone I know. 

I'm nodding my head and mouthing to Taylor Swift by the time I notice the amused smirk Dev is giving me. His teeth aren't showing but his slight dimples are and his eyebrow is raised almost as high as his hairline. I make a silly face at him and he gives me a silent laugh back and I feel like we're 12 again: goofing around, only thinking about ourselves in the present moment, not worrying about college or school or friends or romance or any of the other complicated bullshit that comes with being an adult.

It feels like we're us again: No secrets or things left unsaid. No boyfriends or girlfriends or crushes. No pretending that our best friend hasn't been acting like a completely different person since his mum died.

I then notice that his eyes are no longer on me and are instead directed to the middle if the circle, specifically the empty bottle pointing in his direction. I quickly follow his gaze to the person standing behind it. Agatha stands there, batting her long eye lashes and smiling innocently with her obnoxious rosy, pink lips like she's blessing the world with a gift by just existing. 

He just stares up at her for a second before he sets down his drink, un-applesauces his criss cross, and he stumbles casually into the circle to meet her. 

I look away as they lean into each other and try to focus on Taylor Swift's "Blank Space".

Nobody says a thing (at least it doesn't feel like anyone does) as miss blondie smooths out her skirt before sitting back in her seat. 

Dev leans down to squat next to the bottle on the floor, and it feels like I'm sitting there forever waiting to see who it’ll land on. Who will be the next person to kiss my best friend? 

The bottle lands between two girls across the circle from me. After some dispute over who it’s pointing more towards, Dev ends up spinning again.

When it finally comes to a stop, the mouth of the bottle is pointing at me.

I lift my gaze to Dev's surprised expression before he realizes that I'm staring back at him and we both glance away. 

I slowly push myself to my feet. 

He's standing above the bottle in the center, more stiff and awkward than I've ever seen him, and looking like he can't even comprehend what just happened. What's about to happen. 

I shuffle forward until I'm standing in front of him.

I glance up at his face to see that he's staring intently at my mouth, before he rushes forward and pushes his lips into mine in a firm kiss that he's pulling away from soon after.

It's chaste and short but my chest blooms with a sense of familiarity at the taste of his lips (still alcohol and Doritos, which doesn't make sense because there are no Doritos at this party.) (I checked.) I feel dazed afterwards as he sits back down in his seat and I lean down to spin the bottle. 

The brunette it lands on stands up and makes her way over to me. I kiss her numbly and stumble back over to my gap in the ring of people and the game carries on like nothing happened.

Later that night, Henry slides up next to me with a red solo cup and a "Hey". 

“Hey,” I reply as he smiles warmly and slips his arm around my waist.

"I never got to kiss you during spin the bottle," Henry pouts.

"What a tragedy," I smile back at him and poke him in the side. "I mean why even come to the party if you can't kiss me the whole time?"

He lets out a giggle and leans in to kiss me. 

When he does press his lips to mine, they feel like just that: lips. Simply a weight on my mouth. 

Nothing... else. 

No buzzing in my ears or tightness in my chest. There's no tingle on my tongue or fluttering heat building in my stomach. 

He pulls away with a grin and that enables me to push a smile onto my face. 

He then kisses my cheek and excuses himself to go look for one of his friends.

I don't see Dev for the rest of the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Henry and I decide to break up a couple weeks later. We both realize that we're better as friends than as boyfriends and that we were only together because we were both queer, not because we were actually romantically attracted to each other.

I'm glad he felt the same way that did because he really was a sweet guy; I would’ve hated to hurt him.

We stay friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like Henry haha  
> yeah but I had a lot of fun with this chapter! I'm not usually a writer so most of the time I write at like 2 am when I'm inspired but sorry if this takes a while to finish! I also get really excited when I finish editing a chapter so I don't plan ahead to make sure I have the next chapter written before I post or anything like that so oops ;0  
> Also sorry I was kinda mean to Agatha in this but I feel like Niall wouldn't be that fond of her for multiple reasons  
> Anyways, thanks for reading!
> 
> Tumblr: spacesp0rk  
> Instagram: spacespork

**Author's Note:**

> So I'll try to keep it brief, but this is the first fic I've ever published! WOOOOO :) I know it's not very long but I had a lot of fun writing this.  
> I know there wasn't any snowbaz even though I tagged it.There are only about two fics in the Dev/Niall tag and I was hoping this would be seen by at least a couple people.  
> For some reason I can only write fic for uncommon ships??? probably because there are no other fics so i have to write it myself but :p  
> I might try to make this a 5+1 fic but I'm not sure yet  
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I would really appreciate any feedback so don't be afraid to leave a comment :)
> 
> My Tumblr: spacesp0rk  
> My Instagram: spacespork


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